Another year older and I think a little wiser

So this week saw me complete another trip around the sun and add another year to my total. I've never been a huge one for big birthday celebrations and this year was no different. I've never felt the need for big parties or big events and normally I treat the day like it's any other. This year wasn't much different. I spent my actual birthday watching some of my favourite films of all time The Naked Gun (original not remake), Hot Fuzz and The Goonies, after having lunch out with my mum, nan and two aunts, yes I had officially joined the Furnell females club! 

I'd decided after the long Christmas period and the insane amount of hours that I'd put in that a few days away were called for, so a quick hop on the train and despite the weather being awful they actually ran on  time, I know it shocked me as well. I had a few hours to kill so made a trip to China town and had a giant bao bun, then made my way to Fortnum and Mason and had another Scotch Egg, ( Ash says I'm addicted to them she may well be right on that one), I had a wonder around the touristy spots and after reading about the different historical statues in the Trafalgar / Piccadilly Circus /  Whitehall area I went on a mission to see some of them, made all the prettier by the fact it started snowing. I don't know why but I think everything looks so much better in the snow, it gives it an olde world feel as it doesn't happen that often any more does it. It was then I decided on the spur of the moment to head into the National Gallery and spend a couple of hours looking at the works of the masters of there craft. DaVinci, Van Gogh, Monet and the rest. Now I'll be the first to admit I know very very little about art, but you can't help but feel in awe of some of the works displayed and then you realise that they are over 600 years old in some cases and the fact that people are still flocking to see them is amazing. I wonder if when they painted them they thought this would be the case? 

After getting my arty side on it was time to head up to the wonderful world of Lutonia and a meet up with Kev and Dave. There's something I still find strange about when we meet up that we all seem to be on soft drinks these days. Weatherspoons used to be just a place to load up on cheap drinks, who could forget the £10 reef and aftershock challenge, where for the aforementioned tenner you could get four bottles of reef and four aftershocks and then we'd have races to see who could neck them the fastest. The record if my memory serves me correctly was held by an alcoholic by the name of Tony who I shared more than a few drunken adventures with, a personal highlight being when we attempted to do The Karate Kid crane kick on some concrete bollards and failed spectacularly, he ended up with a cut leg and I ended up in a hedge covered in scratches. 

I'm back from that small tangent, so meeting up and once again the stories being shared, memories being picked over. I did feel sorry for Becca again as she heard more of what Dave used to be like, the abuse was flowing from all sides, good natured mostly with the occasional toe stepped over the line. It's great to have friends that you can literally spend hours with and it seems like no time at all, in no time at all hours had gone by and it was time to say goodbye for now, 

After a good nights sleep a meet up with Emma and a trip to go and see the new Anaconda film, now I've gone into remakes and reboots in a previous blog entry, this was one of the better ones, it didn't take itself to seriously and played up to the comedy elements, it hardly couldn't with Jack Black and the ageless Paul Rudd in. Throw in some good jump scares and some truly hilarious moments and it got the seal of approval from the both of us. A walk round a beautiful reservoir and a  fantastic meal at a small county pub. She's been one of the rocks I've built the new me on and I'll be forever grateful for all she's done for me, the conversations we've had about anything and everything have been a highlight of the past 12 months and this was no different, no topic was off limits and we went through the whole spectrum of things. 

So am I wiser this year? I like to think I am. I'm certainly happier than I was this time last year. I'm more comfortable just being me which is something I've had to hide for many years, at least in my head I did anyway. I've done things that I wanted to do, things that people have looked at me and thought were slightly odd, but they've made me happy. I've spent so much time in museums and different historical sites absorbing as much information as I can and I can honestly say I've loved it. 

I'm calmer and tend to think more before I act which has to be a good thing doesn't it?  I've invested in the friendships that mean more to me. Something that I didn't always do and  looking back I regret. I've made new friends and am starting to put myself out there a little more, I never knew that it was so hard making new friends when you're an adult. I see it everyday at work young kids who make a new best friend for a couple of hours when they are in the centre, why can't it be that easy for us grown ups?

I think the most important thing I've learnt this year is to forgive myself for past indiscretions. I've held it in my head that everything that has happened to me was 100% my own fault but looking back I can see that it wasn't. I'm not trying to absolve myself of blame, yes I made mistakes but at the same time so did others and it shouldn't be on my shoulders to take all the blame for everything.  Therapy has helped me see this and my thanks go out to Rosie who has helped no end to see that I'm not the bad guy I thought I was.

Until we meet again, peace out hombres.