Cheaters

One of the biggest regrets of my life was when at the tender age of 15 I cheated on my then girlfriend Kel by kissing her best friend Lauren when she was away on holiday. I did it on a drunken Friday night at the Town Hall and before you all question how it was allowed that a 15 year old was drunk, let's just say they played fast and loose with the law and besides it was a different time and the world was very much a different place, how else can you explain how they'd get away with playing Children of the Night at least five times a night for us?

I could come up with a host of reasons why I did it, I was drunk, I was missing Kel, Lauren was giving me attention none of them really any good and I felt awful about the whole thing the morning after. I told Kel the second I saw her and she quite rightly broke up with me on the spot. I deserved it 100% and can't fault her decision in any way shape or form. It took a long time for me to make it up to her but we did end up getting back together and had a relatively happy relationship for a while after that, breaking up a year or so later, though we remain friends to this day. 

I've been on the other side of the coin as well, now I'm not going to mention names here, some people in my life know what went on but I feel no need to air all the details in public. That said it's happened twice both times they've cheated on me with there ex's, one of which I thought of as a very close friend and it's not a nice feeling is it? The first one resulted in me going on a three day crème de menthe and twiglet bender and the second one I got rip roaringly drunk on miniature bottles of gin and ate sardines. Both cases I think you could argue caused me not only bad heartburn but also made me feel worthless and it took me a long time to work out that it wasn't my fault that they were the ones in the wrong. If they had wanted something else then they should have put on there big girl pants and tell me. I wouldn't have liked it but I would have thought more of them as people.

I've had friends in the past that were serial cheaters, now again it's not my position to name names, it's not my style and they aren't needed for the context of this post. But when someone who was living with his girlfriend is caught having adult time in the cellar of the pub he works at I think he has to take a good, long hard look at himself and ask himself if this is what he thought his life would be. The same can be said for someone who has been married for nearly two decades and on a rare night away from his unknowing wife said to the rest of us that he was going to find some strange pussy to have fun with. I won't lie I can't look at him the same now and I wonder how many other times he's done this. 

I've also had friends in the past that to put it in a very polite manner would try anything with anyone but the difference is they were single and weren't hurting anyone, they can live the life they want and if that's what they chose then fair play to them.

So why bring this all up, recently a couple of my oldest friends have both been cheated on by there wives of years and are currently trying to come to terms with there lives changing dramatically. I want them to know it does get easier, time does heal, yes it's very big cliché and although it's never nice when something ends, sometimes you put everything you have into someone only for them to throw it back in your face. One of them has children with her so obviously he's trying his hardest to be civil to her for there sake which I commend, I'm not sure if I was in the same position I would be able to do that in the short term. Rather bizarrely on a little bit of a tangent I've been told that it's a little odd that I'm still friends with the majority of my ex's, I disagree with most of them we had a connection that had a foundation in friendship and even though we aren't together for whatever reason I still value that side of things. 

I'm going to end now by saying to the two of them I'm here for them and if they need me for anything give me a call.....possibly just don't follow my example and eat and drink rare combinations you might feel it the next morning.